‘MAN’DATORY READING

SANGEETA WADDHWANI ON WHY HER BOOK, MIND THE GAP, SHOULD BE MANDATORY READING FOR ELIGIBLE INDIAN BACHELLORS

‘MAN’ DATORY READING

There was a time when it was ok to be your mamma’s boy. To grow up being the epicenter of your family and be treated like a little prince – just for having a penis. You were a naturally entitled creature, because society had assigned the role of a bread winner to you. You fed people. You were a born leader. It was a simple, unquestioned equation you had with your world.

Then something changed. Your little sister went to college, and somehow, proved that she had it in her to be a leader too. Although your parents wondered why in hell she would waste her precious maidenhood cramming scientific knowledge and economics statistics into her pretty little bride-to-be head, she persisted. And lo… did even better than you by winning an Honours certificate along with her graduation degree! (Not to mention she was no burden to anyone, having got into her international University through a scholarship, unlike you, who cost your parents a pretty fortune – a debt they will be paying off through most of your adult years).

Still, your mother brushed it all under the carpet when she met prospects for your sister – Asha. “Yes, yes, she is very good at cooking, and very fond of children, and takes such good care of us all!”  But then Asha ruined that game when she asked the prospective groom, “Isn’t your greeting card business going to be threatened by the internet, and e-cards?” The prospective groom didn’t like his future wife to be in any ways more-than-less-than equal. The extended family had designated an insignificant seat for her in front of the television, a good space where she would be seen and heard little, when not in the kitchen or sorting out the little domestic details of the household.

Pradeep as your name goes, remember how surprised you were when your sister Asha stood up, and called the driver and brisk walked to the driveway, abandoning her shocked (and rejected) suitor? Then it was your turn.

Girls were introduced to you, many looking rehearsed bringing that fabled cup of tea to you and your parents. But did it not surprise you when she had as many questions about your credentials as a prospective partner? She wanted to know,

Where did you study? How popular were you in school and college? What exactly was your vision for running daddy’s business? Why did she want to know all this? Because she had an excellent track record in the media industry, was a recognized name in her own right and didn’t fancy being with a guy doing little more than waving his father’s old money at the world, with inherited club memberships and little capacity to create his own way. In fact, she was highly amused when you didn’t have the courage to sit next to her, were hiding behind your father, who in turn suggested you sit and talk directly with your prospective ‘match.’

That was the 90s. Look at you now. Still on your own, thinking you can tempt women into your bedroom by taking them out to dinner – once.  But the girls around you can take you out to better dinners, FOC. They are not expecting such returns either. They just like how amusing you are to talk to. The whole anachronistic air around you. The words you use to describe successful women – “oh, she is a go-getter!”

From Pradeep, they laugh behind your back and call you Undeep. Because that is what your unique type of specimen has become. Redundant, since you fail to be your own person beyond the entitlements an earlier society bestowed on you. It may be too late for you to smell the coffee, (as none of those chai-bringing prospective brides ever became your soulmates), it’s best you read this book, and try and understand what disruptions and new dynamics the modern relating game – forget marital game – just relating game, are about!