WHEN LOCKDOWN KEPT THE LADIES WHO LUNCH BUSY PREPARING THEIR OWN LUNCHES (AND LUNCHES FOR ALL ELSE IN THE FAMILY), A NEW REALITY DAWNED ON THEM ALL. LETS CALL IT RECLAIMING DOMESTIC MICROMANAGEMENT! SANGEETA WADDHWANI OFFERS A SIDE GLANCE
Welcome to the world of desi memsahibs who were accustomed to EVERYTHING ..from their diet eccentricities to their children’s socks and shoe wearing rituals…being taken care of by a full Armageddon of hired help. Suddenly when this support system evaporated due to C19 regulations…how did the poor ladies survive? What earth-shattering discoveries lay ahead? Let’s become the fly on the wall…with no Shantabai to swat it..we will have a lovely candid peep.
It was intense. Discovering the lint on the toaster, which part time help never bothered to clean out. Then, the curious, Sisyphysian journey of eliminating dust on surfaces, because dust in Mumbai seems to return on the hour (wish it was inflation-proof gold dust! Suited to our Diwali mahoul).
The revered ladies had to put away their solitaires and take charge. Suddenly they got to see their children’s OTHER side. Not the bratty “mamma buy me this” but the side that sits in class…struggling to stay on course in front of a screen. Suddenly the posh lady of the manor was in her apron, then sitting with her young ones co-attending school to make sure her children wouldn’t goof off… a double shift for sure.
Women of means were suddenly domesticated goddesses with a gigantic epiphany…perhaps leaving their maids in charge of EVERYTHING in the domestic space, was not the best way to operate.
Dyson vacuum cleaners became the new Shantabai. It was so empowering, not to have to wait till noon for the chuta kaamwaali to show up, and get the house gleaming and free of even dust mites before 11.00am Then, Mrs Y discovered that her detergent box was lasting a good six months, which was not the case when the ‘Shantabais” ruled the supply chain. She remembered being asked to get cooking oil and detergent virtually every month!
Forgotten recipes known to family elders were rediscovered. Healthier than the standard fare churned out by her part time cook. And the ladies who would otherwise pay through their noses to get health advice from celebrity nutritionists started to ‘rediscover’ the pharmacy hidden in their supermarkets…buying seasonal fruit and vegetables, buying new blenders to experiment with new healthy protein shakes and green smoothies (the maid never mentioned that the old blender was falling apart!)
Grocery shopping was the new holy grail …a divine responsibility when no vendors could bring everything to one’s doorstep. It was exciting too, to see the wave of new healthy options for EVERYTHING..from nachini crackers to oatmeal cookies to vegan ice cream. This neo-discovery replaced the mad ‘buy or die’ rush to the Michael Kors or Jimmy Choo sales. “I havent touched my four wardrobes of designerwear since March 17!” rued my neighbour. I sympathized deeply but told her she was glowing and looked so much more engaged with her kids and her home. She agreed.
Yes, moments of insanity did overtake the lovely ladies from time to time. Tweaking one’s own eyebrows was too painful. And how did one wash the toilet bowl? One lady noticed that there were baby chipkalis (lizards) flourishing in her kitchen which her bai considered a de facto part of life and possibly lucky too! Mrs D quickly took to keeping sticky pads (on the advice of her grocery guy) to trap them. And then she would shudder when picking up those traps and putting them into her bin, seeing the tiny lizards dead and half eaten by invisible roaches who ate their meat exposing their skeletons in some places!
Imagine..so much ecological drama in the domestic space! Roaches, ants, lizards, the occassions bat paying a visit to grab a banana..and an ancestral crow also paying morning visits to perhaps gloat on Mrs D’s hapless, maid-less Universe!
But now since the building is allowing part timers to return..
Some of the ladies want them to realise they are not so indispensable. “My maid would talk like a saasu ma,” says a single friend. “She would sometimes be cocky and rude, filling my mornings with negativity, not letting me focus on my work chats etc. She felt I would hang on to her for dear life. I have told her not to come back as am now pretty used to a DIY lifestyle…she can return if she zips it up..her big mouth!”
I myself had a part time maid come to talk about a possible position in my house, and she was shocked to hear that I could pretty much take care of my naashta if she didn’t come on time! I can’t get over her expression!
Maids are not always stalwarts who truly care about their boss Madame. That time seems well gone. One of my other neighbors, a single woman, staying with an aged father, was constantly at the mercy of her father’s Maharastrian bais…they tried to convince him that she was “dangerous” and after his life! The poor old man was fully convinced by their nonsensical ‘framing’ ..they actually made the floors slippery and accused her of doing so.
So as our beloved bais take centre stage in our kitchens, let’s beware…ensure your spaces are hygienic, your ingredients are seasonal, your fridge is being cleaned, your resources are being optimized.
It’s finally true…we all are far more connected to our hearths than they will ever be… I am still asking myself, to bai or not to bai?
LIFE OF A MAGAZINE EDITOR 